About the Methodists

“Whereas, reflecting the church’s traditional role as a place of safety and sanctuary, Therefore, every United Methodist church is officially declared a weapon-free zone.” (source)

“If thou hast not a sword, sell thy cloak and buy one.” — Luke 22:36

“Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” — Nehemiah 4:14

“Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.” — Psalm 144:1

Note that the last three statements are divinely inspired, while the first is not.

About the Christians

Kingston, Tennessee’s Frontier Firearms store is offering a discount for Christian customers in the wake of the the mass shooting in Oregon.

“If Christians are going to be targeted, we need to protect ourselves,” said Brant Williams, Owner of Frontier Firearms. “The best way to protect yourself is with the best weapon available, and that happens to be a handgun.”

He’s offering 5% off any new handgun if you say you’re a Christian. No proof necessary.

The chairman of the local Democratic Party disagrees.